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The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes I'm recorded while having a meal. I’ll see myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of 10 years, Marielle, calls herself the “creativity monarch”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it strains our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, she feels the need to document everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates vlogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while dining, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her feed later, and it pops up like a jumpscare: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed while eating. It feels invasive.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to record her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her free crew. She could easily hire someone if she wanted high-quality content. Upon mentioning my discomfort about this arrangement, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the time and effort I spend assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has helped me with my design career, but I don’t want our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but at times I feel that if the camera is out, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “OK, look happy!” and record me smiling with another. It feels forced. It's crucial her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy spending time with her, but I also want to enjoy it without being recorded, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her Instagram.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope Beth to see that the content we make together can get us an opportunity.

I love creating videos. It’s not just a hobby; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and documenting experiences online allows me to show my personality and engage with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to make money from your passions. I look up to people on TikTok who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made content creation.

Content creation is my version of living actively: noticing the details, posting them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make my friend uneasy. Taking her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't leverage, it's simply being pragmatic.

I would take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people likes being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes content genuine. Being recorded from time to time is part and parcel of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she has never asked yet.

I don't demand anyone to be my private videographer, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a clip here or there would be fun for her. Creativity flourishes in partnership, and having Beth around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I never force her to take part in anything, and I’d never deliberately humiliate her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value our friendship deeply and want to avoid content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to compromise: like asking before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it’s about expressing my perspective while still respecting hers. Obviously making content is not a replacement for genuine friendship: it’s just part of how I live my life and I want her to be included in a way that’s enjoyable for both of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are socializing?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend film you. I understand that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to create content with. With the uncertain future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
A respondent, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, it's unfair to expect your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She must to respect Beth’s personal space.
Ankit, 26

She may enjoy producing videos and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It was kind she has assisted Beth’s career, but she must to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It seems like you value each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the priority in your friendship. Foster some authentic experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she's on the job. Both seem unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing defined limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
Barbara, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle exploiting their bond?